NY Times searching for 'No Lock Person'
Well, the New York Times has apparently identified a trend that should strike fear in the hearts of security company owners everywhere: No Lock People. According to this New York community blog, "The Home section of The New York Times is doing a story about city people who refuse to lock the front doors to their homes or apartments and may have had problems because of it. If you have a story email email@example.com. We need not use your full name." So many fun things here. 1. "People who refuse to lock the front doors" - I know everyone's first thought here, and I'm about to make fun of these kinds of people, but this is actually kind of me. I do not lock my front door. My son Gus very much enjoys carrying around the one set of keys to my house that I own (found them when fixing my kitchen this summer) and pretending they start his various plastic cars. This is because I live in the middle of nowhere and there aren't actually people there. I am actually more worried about bears breaking into my home than people. Also, I have this crazy fear of not being able to escape my house in the case of a fire, and I worry that I won't be able to get my door open quickly enough if it is locked when I'm inside at night. Yes, I know that's stupid. Even stupider? Announcing something like this on my blog! Luckily, I'm a journalist, and journalists are always broke, so I don't actually have anything worth stealing. We are still using the television and stereo that I had in my college dormitory. They are worth collectively approximately $1. But you could probably get $.50 at the pawn shop. My neighbors, who also live in the middle of nowhere, but on a "corner" (actually where two roads that no one lives on happen to meet - both of these roads were originally cart paths), lock their doors at all times, including when they are in the house. This drives me insane (for no good reason), mostly because I can't just walk into their house at all times, like when I need a beer and don't feel like driving 15 minutes to the store. Jeff always has beer in the fridge. 2. "and may have had problems because of it" - Ha! I love the open-ended-ness of this. Hmmm, what problems might have occurred because of not locking the front door? Let's see. Maybe, being robbed? Are there others? Accosted by pro-door-locking advocates wielding deadbolts in pillowcases? People walked into your house by mistake because they were drunk? (And, actually, this is apparently a problem in New York City. Read the comments: "i came home super drunk one night and walked right into my downstairs apt on accident.") Insurance guy noticed and upped your premium, big-time? 3. "We need not use your full name." That is very big of the New York Times. Going against their journalistic standards and all. What would be really, really interesting would be the anti-door-lockers who would actually want their full names published: I know, let's advertise that we don't lock our doors! In New York City! (Yes, I realize that's exactly what I'm doing right now, what with the advertising I don't lock my doors and the whole my name being attached to this blog kind of thing, but I will reiterate my living-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-ness and the fact that, after all, I'm just not that bright.) Anyhoo, I recommend everyone clicking through just to read the comments. Highly entertaining, actually.